High-speed train toilet attempts to eat Frenchman!

Arm trapped in satanic sucking dunny
Hat tip to Wagga!
RoTM Emergency services were on Sunday obliged to cut free a TGV passenger whose arm was swallowed by the high-speed train's sucking dunny, the BBC reports.
The unnamed 26-year-old victim - travelling from La Rochelle to Bordeaux - dropped his mobe into the bog and ill-advisedly attempted to retrieve it from the lav's depths. Cue a unsheduled two-hour stop for the train as firemen detached the unit, still clamped firmly to its victim's limb.
Shaken witness Benoit Gigou recounted: "He came out on a stretcher, with his hand still jammed in the toilet bowl, which they had to saw clean off."
This is the first reported incident of cantankerous crapper attack across the Channel, where the machine uprising has until now relied on mephistophelean motors to do its dirty work. UK citizens are, of course, already fully aware of the danger posed by innocent-looking toilets following a spate of assaults which began back in 2001.

high society by ~onefortherideArtist's Comments: the toilet in an old abandoned passanger car at the train (grave)yard

Take the Poop Poll!

poop not shoot by ~iskavenger

Baab's Poop Survey

Japan pooh-poohs China's Olympic crappers

japanese toilet by ~Ookami16

Japanese are rightfully proud of their toilet engineering feats, and Shukan Asahi (2/29) takes a high-handed approach to dump on neighboring China about the standard of its restrooms at facilities to be used in this summer's Beijing Olympic Games.

While Beijing has been widely blessed for the excellence of its newly opened National Swimming Center, where the Games' aquatic events will be held, not everything about the stadium is as world-class as its pools.

Nearly every toilet in the center is a squat style, not the sit-down type of loo most Westerners -- and Japanese -- are accustomed to.

Squat toilets are the dominant style nearly everywhere throughout China. And though individual cubicles have become the norm on trains and public toilets in smaller cities, doors on the cubicles are still a rarity.

"There are growing numbers of Western-style toilets in southern China," a Shanghai-born Olympic facility worker tells Shukan Asahi. "I guess squat-style toilets are still the norm up north."

Toilet paper is also posing a problem. Outside of classy hotels in the big cities, most toilet paper used in China is a rough, harsh type that doesn't dissolve well in water, the weekly says. To avoid blockage, it's more common to dump the dirty paper into a trash can instead of the cistern. And though most Chinese are well aware of this practice, there are no notices anywhere informing visitors to the country of the proper way to prime the potty, running the risk of clogging the crapper. It's a point the Games' organizers concede.

"We have to put up signs," an organizer says.

Some Japanese have already noticed the poor toilet situation facing those attending -- and taking part in -- the biggest sporting event on earth. Eiichi Kawaniwa, honorary vice-chairman of the International Tennis Federation, has already blasted the crap out of organizers over the toilet situation.

"If you've built a world-class tennis center, it should have Western-style toilets," he told the Beijing Olympic Games Organizing Committee while asking for improvements at the stadium where the tennis competition will be held.

At the tennis center, there is only one Western-style toilet in every block of public conveniences, the rest being squat-style. The cubicles are also cramped and have steps, rendering them unusable for those in wheelchairs. Organizers have promised to fix the situation by April, just four months before the Opening Ceremony.

Kawaniwa says he experienced no problems with blockages during test-run events at Olympic sites and does not foresee it becoming an issue.

"If paper didn't flow through the toilets properly, it would become a massive problem within the International Olympic Committee," the tennis official tells Shukan Asahi, before adding undiplomatically: "They'll get it right, even if it is China we're talking about." (By Ryann Connell)

Mainichi Daily News

RIP

I for one welcome our new porcelain overlords

For mere thousands of dollars, the Intelligence Toilet system will measure urine sugar, blood pressure, body fat and weight on a daily basis.

(via Gizmodo.)

National Continence Management Strategy

Not only does Australia have a National Public Toilet Map, but - as Wagga has noted - a Bladder & Bowel Website, a product of a "Take Control" initiative of the National Continence Management Strategy. They seem to have some awfully creative government employees in that country.
How to take a shit: While you should always avoid rushing, it is generally accepted that you should take only a minute or so to empty your bowel. Never strain or hold your breath. Haemorrhoids (or piles) can result from straining. So get into the habit of using a good toilet position. Lean forward while sitting on the toilet, with a straight back and your forearms on your thighs. Your feet should be raised so that your legs are angled slightly upward and away from your body. A footstool may help you to find the best angle.
WTF?

National Public Toilet Map

Those wacky Australians have created a map of all public toilets with various search features. If you ever find yourself down under with internet access but no toilet, all you need to do is plug in your address. Sweet!

The Nativity Crapper

Look closely at a Nativity scene in the Catalan region of Spain, and you’re likely in for a surprise.

Hidden somewhere — away from the manger and the prying eyes of shepherd and magi — there’s probably a little guy in a red cap. He’s squatting and … well, he’s defecating. Taking a little poop. Or perhaps a rather large one.

You’ve found the caganer: the crapper.

A Spanish Tradition
It’s rude, earthy, and distinctly Catalan. The market stalls of Barcelona are crammed with caganer figurines, squatting shamelessly alongside statues of St. Francis and the Holy Family. Parties are held where guests are invited to find the cagoner in the family creche. Not even the Roman Catholic Church dares to suppress the custom on its own grounds.

People have tried. In 2005, Barcelona passed an ordinance banning the caganer in public displays. It was rescinded by the following Christmas.

The origins of the custom are obscure. Some authorities suggest the caganer started showing his bum in the 18th century. It’s quite possible the caganer has been around a century or two longer. Ask five Spaniards what the caganer actually means, and you’ll be given five different answers. Perhaps it is a reminder of humankind’s ultimate lowliness. Or the juxtaposition of the sacred and the profane. Maybe Catalans just appreciate a good laugh over the holidays.

Nothing Sacred
There’s certainly a satire element. Starting in the early 20th century, the traditional red-capped caganer started to be replaced by figurines of well-known politicians, entertainers — even clergy. King Juan Carlos is captured doing his royal business. George W. Bush squats with a globe in his hand. Pope Benedict gives ex cathedra a whole new meaning.
More from The Crapping Christmas Statues of Catalonia