Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The Worm Within

by Vincent Eaton

When I go to the bathroom, I usually expect it to be a non-event. After so many years, there are few surprises left for me sitting on a toilet. Yet that's where I first discovered an uninvited entity that called me home.

I had finished doing what we all do at the toilet, stood, and casually, almost like a cat, turned around to look down and make sure. This time, looking down, something caught my attention. Among the customary contents, there was a bright, clean, white thing down there.

I looked more carefully, becoming a momentary tea-leaf type. Strange. I had never seen this before. And then it hit me. Of course! I had eaten some spaghetti the evening before – this was probably just a little undigested bit that somehow got through. I flushed.

Two days later, the usual toilet routine. Sit, let 'er fly, liberal toilet paper usage, stand, trousers up, turn, about to flush, and there it was again. The little white thing! I quickly reviewed the meals I'd consumed recently and I didn't remember eating any pasta for days. I was going to assume this was a freakish thing, and flushed the toilet and breezed along with my life until a couple of days later, there it was again, an albino king sitting on top of his
soft brown throne.

via Neotorama

Friday, May 23, 2008

Corporate Outhouse

Hat tip to Wagga for this one!

Monday, May 19, 2008

Place to Pee Video Game

TWO Belgian beer fans have launched a video game named Place to Pee, which allows players to fly down ski slopes or kill aliens while relieving themselves at urinals.

Werner Dupont, a software developer and Bart Geraets, an electrical engineer, got the idea while drinking beers.

The Place to Pee' booth is designed for two users at a time and offers two games - blowing up aliens in outer space or skiing down a virtual slope.

Gamers hit their target by aiming at sensors positioned on either side of the urinal.

A specially designed paper cone allows women to play too, the inventors say.

Their Place to Pee logo resembles Manneken Pis, the little urinating boy fountain that is among Brussels' top sightseeing attractions.

Hat tip to Wagga for Urinal video game launched

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Naked Guy Found on Family's Toilet

OCALA, Fla. -- A Central Florida family was shocked to come home to find a naked 57-year-old stranger sitting on their toilet and smelling of body wash.
Ocala police arrested Tom Wilkerson, 57, after he was found naked and with the family's clothes inside a home located on West Silver Springs Boulevard.
Officers said Wilkerson apparently found an outside key and let himself into the Bess family's home.

Wilkerson took a hot shower and used Lisa Bess' Victoria Secret lavender body wash, a family member said.

"There was still a stench of my body lotion, actually, water was still draining from the bathtub," Bess told the Ocala Star Banner. "And he was refusing to get off the toilet until he was finished doing his business."

Bess said she believes Wilkerson was inside the house most of the day.

She said he took a pair of her underwear and other clothes.

"It was scary, but it was so funny, too," she said. "I couldn't be mad at him because I was laughing so hard."

Wilkerson was charged with trespassing

Friday, March 14, 2008

Now you can be just like the President and wipe your ass with the Bill of Rights!

WASHINGTON (IWR Satire) - First Lady Laura "Pickles" Bush conducted her first pledge drive on CSPAN today from the press briefing room of the White House to raise money for her husband's future library at SMU in Dallas, TX. Mrs. Bush offered limited edition rolls of toilet paper with the Bill of Rights printed on every sheet for any donor who could pledge a million dollars.
"Now you can be just like the President and wipe your ass with Bill of Rights of this here country, and all you got to do is pledge a million dollars for the George W. Bush Presidential Library," said Mrs. Bush like a carnival barker.
IWR's Bush Library Pledge Drive

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Toilet Quest



Rush into the stall, find the toilet paper, break glass and relieve yourself!

Monday, January 21, 2008

Monday, December 31, 2007

Proper Toilet Use

Toilet Use Guide by ~WonderDookie

Toilet
I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doin' just fine!"

And the other guy says: "So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just travelling!"

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. "Can I come over?"

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell him, "No........I'm a little busy right now!!!"

Then I hear the guy say nervously...
"Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!