The goldfish on my desk

"I've got a goldfish which lives in a bowl on my desk. It sits about two feet away from me. I feed it flakes everyday.

"Just now, the damned thing took a shit, turned around, and ate it. I know I read somewhere that goldfish have a memory span of 3 seconds, but for real, you can't remember taking a crap a millesecond before turning around and registering it as food?

"Oh, god. He just did it again. He belongs in a toilet."

Seattle's HIgh-Tech Toilet Project Fails

Seattle installed five self-cleaning public toilets at a cost of $1.32M each, but the project isn't working as expected. The toilets are all going to be removed.

Although people were using the five high-tech, self-cleaning silver stalls, the toilets also fostered illegal behavior, said Council President Richard Conlin.